I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
