People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
