woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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