dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
