Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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