The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
