do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
