You really coming over, don't trick.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
