What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
