she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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