Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
