we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
