If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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