Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
