$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
