All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
