dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
