honey bunches of taint.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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