i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
