I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Randomize
