yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
