I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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