Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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