All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
