All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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