I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
