god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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