Don't make out with my wife yet
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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