I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
