I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
