There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
