Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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