hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
