I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
