I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
