flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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