My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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