I wish I could punch you in the face.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
