do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
