So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
