why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Randomize
