Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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