You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
