true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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