doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Having a random hookup so left but love u
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
