Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
