just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
