I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
