i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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