Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
