I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize