im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
