he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
