I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
