I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
