i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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