I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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