You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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