he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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